I tried to drown this dark thing, drown it in whisky, in wine, thinking that something so heavy as heavy as it is as heavy as it feels would surely sink, but it stayed afloat; even as the tide rose through my veins to flood my head, even as I slurred it stayed buoyant. I tried to numb it with the pills they gave me and their promises of calm, but all that came were tremors and fog that deadened thought, yet didn't kill the dark thing; still growling through my brain, still burning darkly bright, rolling my past on its tongue, and kicking at an unexploded future. now morning finds me with no fight left, barely awake, barely anything at all. you creep into my bed, kiss my face, my opening eyes and heart fill with the love beaming from you. how can you be mine you are everything pure and good and beautiful, love washes through clean and golden and puts out the darkness, lifts the weight, for a moment.
