The bullocks looked up from the grass just a creature to them, they wanted to see, wanted to see — I wasn’t scared. If they came too close, too fast, I knew, make yourself big, shout and run at them, done it many times before but they were coming quickly now, a big herd, bulky strong beasts, tang of dung and earth and animal, running faster — I spread my arms wide, ran at them, shouted — they came faster, splashing mud. I was very small then the sort of small that happens at bad times that had happened, would happen at worse times than this — I realised then they weren’t stopping. I was running, they were panting close, hooves churning — in front of me was a fence by a hedge, I climbed over, trapped but safe in the tiny space between hedge and fence, scared, how stupid to be scared — breath panting wet against my face, I was small and still, still and small, small and still as mouths pushed close. I didn’t learn anything about how to make things stop. I wouldn’t know the next time either — I would be small and still, still and small, he would move faster, his wet mouth would be on mine, trapped in my tiny space, stupid scared girl, small and still.
